Doubt Your Doubts

In October 2013 General Conference, President Uchtdorf said, "It’s natural to have questions--the acorn of honest inquiry has often sprouted and matured into a great oak of understanding. There are few members of the Church who, at one time or another, have not wrestled with serious or sensitive questions. One of the purposes of the Church is to nurture and cultivate the seed of faith--even in the sometimes sandy soil of doubt and uncertainty. Faith is to hope for things which are not seen but which are true.

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters--my dear friends--please, first doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith. We must never allow doubt to hold us prisoner and keep us from the divine love, peace, and gifts that come through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ."

We all have doubts. Some of our greatest battles occur within our own minds. It's what we do with those doubts, which will determine the direction of our lives. While I'm a Sunday School class I was taught about a disciple of Christ who also doubted:

25 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid.
28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?
32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.

As Peter looked around at the boisterous sea, he was reminded of his doubts rather than his faith. As he took his eyes off the Savior, his carnal understandings took control of his reactions. He was a fisherman. He knew the properties of water and knew that walking on water wasn't meant to happen. And so it is with us--many things that require faith cannot be understood through our carnal understandings. Believing there is a God cannot be proven simply by science. Faith takes leaping away from the edge of understanding. It takes trust. It takes seeking God and then applying the feelings of the heart. It cannot be proven by science, but it can be felt within ourselves.

How many times in our lives do we take our eyes from the Savior? How many times do we allow ourselves to be tossed by the boisterious sea rather than taking hold of the truths of the Gospel? Sometimes it is easy to take in our circumstances without allowing the Savior to play an active role.

When my little brother died, it was these verses of scriptures that helped my daughter finally put her trust in God. It was through realizing that Peter took his eyes from the Savior, which caused him to struggle. This lesson encouragesd her to keep her focus on the Savior, which then helped her to overcome.

1 Nephi 3

TRUST IN THE LORD

When Nephi and his brothers were sent to get the plates, even though the Lord commanded them to do so--it still wasn't easy. They attempted to get the plates from Laban twice with complete failure and nearly dying in both of those attempts. It wasn't until their third attempt that Nephi actually obtained the plates. This experience causes me to reflect on our own lives. I think I mistakenly assume that when I am on the Lord's errand, the circumstances surrounding that errand will become easy. I assume that He wants me to accomplish the task; therefore, any or all difficulty will be avoided. However, this just simply isn't the case. We are taught that there must be opposition in all things. Understanding that opposition comes even when we are doing good is crucial in our success with whatever it is that we are endeavoring to accomplish.

As we understand the opposition we may face, it gives us the strength to preserver in faith. Believing that God truly is with us, and as we preserver he will create an opportunity for us to succeed. But faith isn't just a hope it requires action and the Lord can't help us unless we are continually moving our feet "acting" as He would need us to do so. As we "act", He will guide those actions into our accomplishing the task. It won't be easy. It won't necessarily happen on the first attempt; however, as we trust that He truly will help us despite the opposition we face, we will succeed.

I have been attempting to write a book for several years. I think I have been allowing the opposition to win. I trust in the Lord; however, my trust is lessoned as the enormity of the task overwhelms my senses. Only through faith and trust in Him will this goal be accomplished.

Ether 2

The brother of Jared is chastised in this chapter for not calling on the Lord more through prayer. It always hits me to think how important it is to pray to our Heavenly Father. It is easy for us to go about our daily lives and neglect that divine communication. And yet... the Lord speaks of this as a sin.

Verse 14 states:
"And it came to pass at the end of four years that the Lord came again unto the brother of Jared, and stood in a could and talked with him. And for the space of three hours did the Lord talk with the brother of Jared, and chastened him because he remembered not to call upon the name of the Lord.

Reading this is a chastisement to me. I know that I need to pray more often to my Father in Heaven. It is not my intention to neglect communicating with Him; however, I know that I do. I am going to pray for help to pray more .

Ether 3

PRAYERS

In verse 9, the Lord explains that because of the faith of the brother of Jared, he was able to see the Lord's finger. He then said that "never has man come before me with such exceeding faith as thou hast..."

I think about my own life and my quest for faith. Sometimes I think I have great faith, but then I realize just how far I have to go. It definitely is a quest of a lifetime that I am willing to continue to endeavor. When I was newly married, I remember believing that God was there, and believing that
He helped His children; however, I struggled to believe that He would directly help me. Then, one day I was in need. I knelt down and prayed. I told Him that I knew He was real. I knew He could hear me. And then I told Him how I desperately needed help.

I had promised to bring a meal to a family in need that day. I had thought I had the materials to prepare the meal, but as I began the task, I realized I did not. I was without a car, and the nearest store was miles away. If I walked to the store, I would not be home in time to prepare the meal for the family. I searched through my pantry for something different, but I was low on groceries. It was at this moment, I knelt in prayer. I desired to help the family in need, but I had no idea how I was going to accomplish it without help.

As soon as I finished my prayer, I began calling people in the ward. I hoped to find someone who had the ingredient; however, nobody seemed to answer my phone call. Then while I was still on the phone, the operator came through the line (I didn't know that happened), and asked if I was willing to accept a call from someone. This person was in my ward. I didn't know them well, but I knew of them. I immediately accepted the call to hear what this person may need wondering if there something I could do to help them and curious to find out why they would use an operator to get a hold of me. To my surprise, this person was calling as an answer to my prayer. She said that she did not know why it was so important to get a hold of me, but that she knew I was in need. She asked what she could do to help me? As I heard her explanation, I felt overwhelmed with love and gratitude. I knew the Lord had heard my prayers. I immediately knelt down and thanked my Heavenly Father for hearing my need.

From this moment on, I knew the Lord was aware of me individually. My faith began to grow in this thing and it continues to grow to this day. Someday, I want to have the faith of the Brother of Jared.

Ether 1

THE POWER OF PRAYER

I was touched as I read in the account of Ether today about the power of prayer. The brother of Jared continuously instructs his brother to ask of the Lord, and each time--the Lord answers. I was first impressed with the faith to seek the Lord, and second impressed with power of prayer. I keep thinking that because they first had the faith to seek the Lord, they must have had complete trust that the Lord would direct and answer.


Faith in the Lord is a powerful thing. There is a difference between believing in the Lord and believing that the Lord will direct our path. Many times in my life I lean more on the simply believing in the Lord, and then I go about my activities trying to accomplish all that I must without the Lord's divine intervention. It requires great faith to stop and realize how much better we would be with the Lord directing our path, and then to trust that He can and He will. It seems to me to be a circle of faith: to first have the faith to stop and counsel with the Lord, to then listen for His direction, and then to move froward with faith.

For me, I have the faith that this pattern in life works; however, I don't often use it. When I have exhausted all other scenarios, I then seem to turn to the Lord. Why not begin with the Lord? Why must I struggle on my own? I do believe the Lord trusts us in orchestrating our lives, but I don't think that means that we can't counsel with him in all things. In fact, in Nephi we are instructed to ...counsel with the Lord in all dealings...(1 Nephi 37:37).

At the end of this chapter two powerful messages seemed to cap off my original impressions. First, in verse 42 it states, "I will go before thee." This simply promise of the Lord reminds me that the Lord is willing to be with us. However, we must first seek Him in order to have that companionship. The second phrase that hit home was in verse 43 it states, "And thus I will do unto thee because this long time ye have cried unto me." The Lord here tells us that He will bless us when we seek Him. When we choose to allow Him in to our lives, He will make things happen to our benefit, but WE MUST trust in Him enough to first ask.

Scriptures

This past year has been a journey unlike any other I have experienced. I think the last time I posted was right before I had a skiing accident. And although the skiing accident only resulted in a torn ACL, I still found myself in a trial that was manufactured for me. After 7 months of recovery, I am looking into the face of another surgery, and although that is hard too--my determination to face it is resolute. I know it is through the Lord, Jesus Christ, that we can be carried through all of our afflictions. He is the answer to all of our trials. As we turn to Him, He will carry us. He is our balm in Gilead.
Through this trial, I have often turned to my scriptures. I haven't recorded my impressions as I did in year's past; however, the scriptures have truly been a source of peace that my Savior has offered to me. As I have turned each page, my spirit has been lifted and carried. I have found peace and comfort. I have been healed with each new realization. I almost feel saddened that I didn't record this journey as I should have; however, I do testify now of my gratitude of the scriptures. I am so grateful. So very grateful.

2 Nephi 9

There is so much in this chapter that it is difficult to be able to touch on everything. The main idea of this chapter is the Plan of Salvation--God's plan for us. One thing that seems to stand out in my mind is verse 21:

And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam.

My heart rejoices as I read these scriptures. My heart is full towards my Savior. Because of Him, we can live again. Because of Him, we can be clean. Because of Him, we have eternal families. Because of Him, we are not captive to the devil, but rather we can have eternal life. Words cannot describe the miraculous atonement. I am so grateful to my Savior. My God. My King.

In counseling our hearts, I love how it reads in verse 39, "...Remember to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.

In verse 41 it reads, "O then, my beloved brethren, come unto the Lord, the Holy One. Remember that his paths are righteous. Behold, the way for man is narrow, but it lieth in a straight course before him, and the keeper of the gate is the Holy One of Israel; and he employeth no servant there; and there is none other way save it b by the gate; for he cannot be deceived, for the Lord God is his name."

And in verse 42 it reads, "And whoso knocketh, to him will he open...

In verse 50, "Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money, come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price."

My Lord my God. I am so grateful for the condescension of my Savior. My heart is full. My heart rejoiceth. I am humbled, and I pray for His hand in my life.