Yesterday, I was able to give a talk in sacrament meeting. I felt that I was led by the spirit in all things pertaining to the preparation and the delivery of the talk. In fact, I wrote most of the talk in the summer for another event; however, a day prior to the event I felt impressed to write a new talk. When I was asked to speak this past week, I felt a strong peace and reassurance that I was meant to use the talk previously prepared. I spent hours revising and memorizing. I used every extra moment that I had. There was a lot going on this past week for my family (we went to the cabin to celebrate Amber's birthday), so I had to plan my time wisely. When Sunday morning arrived, I woke up early so I could practice my talk, and study for a bit longer. (I had been using my ear-buds to listen to my talk all week in hopes of memorizing it, but I still felt I needed more work.)
When it came time to deliver the talk, I was a bit nervous. I love speaking, but I always feel nervous prior to delivery. I feel that Heavenly Father has given me the talent to speak and deliver His messages; however, despite this gift I know I am nothing without Him. The thing is: when I do it alone, it's only half as good as it could have been. I've learned (the hard way) that it is my job to work like crazy, and then rely on the Lord--turn it over to Him. He makes me what I am meant to become. He makes up the difference. I am nothing without Him.
After the talk, everyone came to tell me how wonderfully I did. I kept thinking about a story that Elder Utchdorf shared in conference when he said,
"When I was called as a General Authority, I was blessed to be tutored by many of the senior Brethren in the Church. One day I had the opportunity to drive President James E. Faust to a stake conference. During the hours we spent in the car, President Faust took the time to teach me some important principles about my assignment. He explained also how gracious the members of the Church are, especially to General Authorities. He said, 'They will treat you very kindly. They will say nice things about you.' He laughed a little and then said, 'Dieter, be thankful for this. But don’t you ever inhale it.'"
You see, I truly feel that this gift to be able to speak comes from something higher than myself. I want to be the kind of person where Heavenly Father can rely. I love this counsel from President Utchdorf and President Faust. It is so easy to be caught up in the compliments or in other words--pride.
President Utchdorf said that
"this sin has many faces. It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth, or position. They count these blessings as evidence of being “chosen,” “superior,” or “more righteous” than others. This is the sin of “Thank God I am more special than you.” At its core is the desire to be admired or envied. It is the sin of self-glorification."
All of these thoughts were running through my head this morning as I was studying my scriptures. In Helman 4 it describes the wickedness of the people, and in verse 13 it states, "And because of this their great wickedness, and their boastings in their own strength, they were left in their own strength; therefore they did not prosper, but were afflicted and smitten, and driven before the Lamanites, until they had lost possession of almost all their lands."
And so it is with us--if we allow pride get in the way of the things that matter most, we will be like unto the Nephites. The Lord cannot strengthen us if we assume our own superiority. I pray that I will always look to the source of my strength realizing that I am nothing without the Almighty. In D&C 121:39 it states, "We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." And in verse 40 it states, "Hence many are called, but few are chosen."
My talk from yesterday:
When we were sent here to earth, our Heavenly
Father gave us the gift of agency. Because we have been given the ability to
choose, it is ultimately up to us to decide our final destination. I have often
envisioned what it will be like to stand before my Father in Heaven and be
judged for my actions. Recently, I was taught a lesson on this topic. My
mother-in-law entrusted my husband and I with her most prized possession—a
necklace made from her mother’s wedding ring. She had left it at the cabin, and
asked that we deliver it to her. Knowing the importance of this item, my
husband and I discussed ways in keeping it safe, and then followed through with
our plan. However, when it came time to deliver the necklace, it was no longer
where it had been placed for safe keeping. This realization ensued several
weeks of searching and praying for the lost heirloom. Throughout this time of
prayer and contemplation, my soul longed for a “redo”. My mind was relentless
with the “if only’s”, and the “should of’s”. I couldn’t help but
think of what I could have done, or what I should have done. In the midst of my
turmoil, I was taught a lesson. One evening while contemplating the lost
heirloom, my mind was opened to a new thought. In my mind I saw myself standing
in front of my Savior after I had completed my time here on Earth. As I stood,
my mind wondered—will I want a “redo”, or will I have done all that I could? In
2 Nephi it states, “Therefore, lift up your hearts, and remember that ye are
free to act for yourselves, to choose the way of everlasting life, or the way
of everlasting death” (2 Nephi 10:23). President Monson has stated, “Life’s
journey is not traveled on a freeway devoid of obstacles, pitfalls, and snares.
Rather, it is a pathway marked by forks and turnings. Decisions are constantly
before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed…” (“The Call for Courage”,
President Thomas S. Monson, General Conference, 2004).
Joshua 1:9 states, “Have I not I
commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou
dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou
goest” (Joshua 1:9).
This scripture has become a motto for
my family. I truly believe as we have courage, as we move forward with faith,
and as we allow God to be a part of our lives, we will be choosing the pathway
of eternal life. Today I would like to take a closer look at the principles
this scripture teaches.
BE STRONG AND OF A GOOD COURAGE
The first part of our scripture states,
“Be Strong and Of Good Courage” (Joshua 1:9). The scriptures are full of
examples of courage. I love the example of Noah when he had the courage to
build an ark on dry ground. I love the example of David when he fought Goliath.
I love the courage of Esther when she faced the king even when it could mean
death for her. There is also the story of Moroni when he declared that he
“would not deny the Christ”, the story of Daniel in the Lion’s den, the story
of the stripling warriors, the story of Samuel on a city wall, and the story of
Abinidi testifying to his death. These are just a few of the examples of
courage in the scriptures. In all the scriptural accounts of courage there is a
common theme—each of these heroes were seeking the Lord: they had a testimony
of Him, and His goodness, and they were then strengthened with courage to
endure any trial that they faced. And so it is with us--I believe that in order
for us to have courage to make the correct decisions, we must first have a
testimony. President Monson has talked about both courage and testimony being
needed in order to make correct decisions. When speaking about courage, he
said, “In order for us to make the correct decisions, courage is needed—the
courage to say no when we should, the courage to say yes when that is
appropriate, the courage to do the right thing because it is right” (Be of Good
Courage, Thomas S. Monson, April 2014 General Conference). About testimony, he
has said, that “in order for us to be strong, and to withstand all the forces
pulling us in the wrong direction…, we must have our own testimony” (“Dare to
Stand Alone”, President Monson, General Conference, October 2011). Thus, in
order to have courage to make the decisions required, we must have a testimony.
Therefore, our beliefs guide our courage.
When I was a freshman at Ricks College, I had a professor that opened my eyes
to the importance of our individual testimonies. She told us that we were all
in dire circumstances, and in order to survive—we had to be willing to give up
“the less important” things in life. And then, she had each of us pick from
cards at the front of the room. A few of the cards were: fax machine, computer,
boat, radio, iPod, email, camera … At first it seemed pretty easy to take a few
things from our list, but the lesson didn’t stop at a few things. After one
round, she stood again, and said people were dying—circumstances where dire,
what else are you willing to give up? And then each of us was required to again
choose from the list of items: close friends, sense of sight, the living
prophet, church organization, priesthood blessings, immediate family, temple
ordinances… I remember that as we got down to the last two items: testimony of
Jesus Christ, and a living prophet; an argument broke out in our class. One
girl was extremely upset at the choice that was being made by the student who
was last to choose. This girl begged our teacher to have the lesson stop;
however, the point of the lesson was to eliminate all but one. The student who
was last to pick was choosing to remove a living prophet. The last card was a
testimony of Jesus Christ. My professor then said to the class, “If a testimony
is the most important thing each of you has, then why is it so easy to spend
your time in pursuit of things that are not as important”? She was right. My
time was constantly filled with important things, but perhaps not as important
as working on my testimony. Testimony is our most prized possession.
In the October conference, Elder
Utchdorf said, that a personal testimony of the gospel and the Church is the
most important thing you can earn in this life”. He further stated that “gaining
a testimony is not a task of a minute, and hour, or a day. It is not once and
done. The process of gathering spiritual light is the quest of a lifetime”. I
would like to add my testimony to Elder Utchdorf’s words that as we firmly
place our hearts with God, we will have the courage to act in moments of
decision.
BE NOT AFRAID
The second part of our scripture
states, “be not afraid”. When we are fearful, we allow the world to get in the
way of our ultimate goal and our faith is weakened. I think I am just beginning
to understand the process of fear and faith. This past summer, I had an
experience while at Roaring Springs that has broadened my understanding.
While we were in the Lazy River, all of
a sudden, a panicked lifeguard was pointing, running, and blowing on her
whistle. As I turned to see what she was pointing at, I could see a
lifeless toddler on the bottom of the pool. I ran to assist the drowning child.
I'm not sure why I didn't let go of Jacob, so that I could better help the
child—Jacob was on a tube, and completely fine, but my mind didn't register
that I needed both of my hands to better assist the drowning child. Instead, I
tried frantically to lift the body with my one remaining hand. When the
lifeguard finally arrived, she quickly pulled the child the rest of the way out
of the water. It was then that I realized the child was only a mannequin—a
decoy in an effort to train the lifeguard. I walked away from the lifeguard
crying silently. I kept chiding myself for being upset--all the while, grateful
that it WAS a mannequin and not a real child. I think this experience was
simply too close to home for me.
When I was seventeen, my brother
drowned. When he died, I found myself afraid to participate in water
activities. My father told me that I couldn’t allow fear to control my actions.
He taught me the importance of being faithful and not fearful. He taught me
that it was a choice. This experience at Roaring Springs took me back eighteen
years to the time when my brother was pulled out of a river, and all of those
fears came rushing back. After my experience at Roaring Springs, there are two
lessons I’m beginning to understand. First, I believe fear works against faith.
When we face our fears with faith, God
is near. In D&C it states, "Search diligently, pray always, and be
believing and all things will work together for your good." That is what
faith is all about--it is believing that no matter what happens is for our
good. I may not understand everything in my life, there may be uncertainties,
and most definitely there will be bad things that happen--I cannot prevent that—fearing
the bad will not stop the bad from coming; however, it will work against
my faith by negating my trust in God.
The second lesson I am learning is that
living by faith--not fear is something I choose. When my faith is strong, I am able
to face the difficulties of each new day. In these moments, I am seeking the
Lord, I am praying, and I am making Him a part of my life. It is in these
moments that I am full of faith. And then there are times when I allow my
problems or fears to overwhelm me. I feel anxious, and worried—I forget to seek
the source of my strength—(my Heavenly Father)—and I react poorly to the
situations in my life. I am beginning to think that these are moments of fear.
Gregory Clark spoke at a BYU
Devotional, and he said that it seems to be contradicting when we know that the
Gospel is true (Gregory Clark, “Some Lessons on Faith and Fear, BYU Devotional,
May 6, 2008), and yet we have to continually remind ourselves to choose faith
rather than fear. He then explained with a story from the Bible.
On a boat, in a stormy sea—Jesus was
awakened by his apostles:
“Master, carest thou not that we
perish?” (Mark 4:38).
The Lord calmed the storm, and then
asked them, “Why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith?”(Mark
4:40).
The disciples had sat at the Savior’s
feet. They had witnessed the Savior’s power. The Savior was on the boat with
them, and they knew that the Savior’s mission on earth was not yet complete;
however, at that moment—it was difficult to see past the raging storm. Brother
Clark explained this situation by saying, “their memories of His works and His
words and their hope in the future reality of His promises were not, at that
moment, nearly so real to them as the storm…at that moment, the only things
they had perfect knowledge of were the intensity of the storm, the fragility of
their boat, the depth of the water, and their distance from the shore. At that
moment their mortal senses were filled with fear: They could see and hear and
feel the threat of their circumstances” (Gregory Clark, “Some Lessons
on Faith and Fear, BYU Devotional, May 6, 2008).
And so it is with us, we know the
gospel of the Restoration is true, but what we don’t know is how or when our
trials will be resolved. The Lord has promised us that He will be with us, but
at times—living in the day to day moments—it is easy to be uncertain (Gregory
Clark, “Some Lessons on Faith and Fear, BYU Devotional, May 6, 2008).
When President Hinckley spoke at his
wife’s funeral he set an example of choosing faith over fear. He said, “It
isn’t as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don’t worry. I say
that to myself every morning. It will all work out. . . . Put your trust in
God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will
not forsake us. He will not forsake us. . . . If we will put our trust in Him,
if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessings, He will hear
our prayers” [Gordon B. Hinckley, quoted in Latter-day Counsel, “Excerpts
from Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley, ”Ensign, October 2000, 73;
see also “Put Your Trust in God, “Ensign, February 2006, 63].
The Lord Thy God is With Thee
With these inspiring words from President Hinckley, it brings us to our third
portion of this beloved scripture. The last part of Joshua 1:9 states, “the
Lord thy God is with thee” (Joshua 1:9). Our Savior understands everything we
have ever, and will ever experience. President Holland said that His journey
was the “loneliest journey ever made” (None Were with Him, Jeffrey R. Holland,
April 2009). Not only did his disciples slowly diminish in their support, but
Elder Holland also said that the “Father briefly withdrew from Jesus the
comfort of His personal presence. It was required…For His Atonement to be
infinite and eternal, He had to feel what it was like to die not only
physically but spiritually, to sense what it was like to have the divine Spirit
withdraw, leaving one feeling totally, abjectly, hopelessly alone” (None Were
with Him, Jeffrey R. Holland, April 2009).
President Holland further stated that
“one of the great consolations…is that because Jesus walked a long, lonely path
utterly alone, we do not have to do so” (None Were with Him, Jeffrey R.
Holland, April 2009).
When my brother passed away, I had
moments where I felt the Savior’s presence, and moments when I felt completely
alone. Right after we found my brother’s body, my entire family felt a great
peace and reassurance. We knew that a greater force was with us during that
time. However, as the time drew closer for the viewing, that feeling of peace
began to dissipate for me. At one point during the viewing, my father asked me
to go and seek peace as I was unable to control my tears. I don’t remember
where I went in the funeral home, or much about what happened surrounding my
prayer, but I do remember reading in Matthew 11: 28-30. It reads, “Come unto
me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my
yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall
find rest unto your soul. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” As I
prayed and read the scriptures, peace began to fill my heart once again. I
named this scripture my “Eric Peace Scripture”, and every time I had a moment
of struggle, I would again turn to this scripture and remind myself to seek the
Savior.
I bear testimony that as we choose
daily to be courageous through building our testimony, as we choose faith over
fear, and as we choose to seek the Savior, we will be guided in our lives, and
we will someday stand before our Savior with a clear conscience—not longing for
a “redo”, and we will be on the pathway to eternal life. The Lord’s command to
have courage, not be fearful, and His reminder that He will be with us—is for
you and me!
I know that this Gospel is true. I know
that when we live by its teachings, we are blessed. I know it, because I have
lived it, and I witness it in my daily life.
