Mosiah 27

THE FAITH OF A PARENT

I love that an angel comes to Alma because of others' prayers. To think that I may pray for something so momentous, to think that a faith of a parent can truly make an impact on our children gives me reassurance. Our parenting doesn't have to be one sided. The Lord wants us to be in partnership with Him. I think too often I feel alone in my parenting, or for that matter--anything else. When I turn inside myself, I am somewhat alone. Sure, the Lord is always there, but unless we access Him in our lives His influence isn't as strong. As we pray to Him, we become a partnership with God. He can then help us in all of our endeavors--no matter what our struggle might be (a wayward child, patience...).

Right now my little guy is struggling in school. He has started a learning program, which takes an hour every single day practicing drills. This program is suppose to help him process better--it's suppose "fix" all of our struggles. In the process of "fixing", my patience is often at the surface. These drills are not easy. They take a lot of time, and they quite often have to be simplified, and broken down. On top of that, we just started school, and Jacob is required to do a lot of homework. Last night we spent two hours on homework in addition to Jacob's learning technics. What would take some kids only an hour to complete--takes Jake double. He tries extremely hard, and his heart is in it--he just can't process as fast. By the end of our two hour homework scenario, I was done for the night; however, I was staring into an hour of learning technics as well. It was 8:30 pm--his bedtime, and we were not done. My mental sanity was definitely shaken. I needed the Lord more than ever. I needed Him to help me stay sane, but more importantly to help me remain calm with a beautiful child that was truly trying his best. I wish I could say that I was the ultimate example of patience. I can't. I wasn't. After I tucked Jacob into bed, I went into his room to love and kiss on him. I told him how proud I was of him, and how sorry I was that I was frustrated. I let him know that I really do love him. As I was pleading for forgiveness, and looking into my beautiful son's eyes, I knew I needed God. I knew I couldn't do it alone. My prayers last night were prayers of pleading. They were prayers that ache. I want more than ever to be that mom that is so awesome. To be honest, I am not even sure what "that mom" entails. If I could list a few of "that mom's" talents, I would list a mom with ultimate patience, a mom with a listening ear, a fun mom, a caring mom, an in tune mom, a spiritual mom... Some of these things, I feel I am accomplishing; however, I am definitely  not accomplishing all of it. The thing is: we don't have to. I think we must do our best, and then we must pray like it will make up all the difference, because I honestly believe it will. It did for Alma.